Replacing Fears & Illusions with Gratitude & Acceptance


Fears & Illusions – man, if I had a nickel for every time one of these got me…  Well, let’s just say I’d be doing alright.  What are fears and illusions?  Fears – that one is pretty obvious – something that we are scared of, maybe we avoid that fear.  Illusions, well this one is a little more tricky.  For purposes of this article, illusions are the things we perceive are in our way of success, stability, abundance, peace and love.  We may even use these fears to prevent us from taking that next step.  We all succumb to fears and illusions at one point or another in our lives.

For me, it definitely was something that I have had to work through.  One of the biggest battles for me was moving forward with leaving the Corporate World and starting my new business as a Life Coach, wrestling with the decision for almost a year.

Think about a time when fear and illusions were hindering you from moving forward in your life.

What were those fears and illusions?  Are they recurring fears and illusions that present themselves over and over throughout your life?  Those are the ones that you want to pay the most attention to.  Why?  Because that is where the biggest growth can occur in our lives.

When we continue to face the same issue over and over again (maybe the people are the only thing that change), this usually means that we haven’t mastered this issue/skill yet.  This is not a judgement. I share this from my own personal experience.  For some it will resonate and others it won’t.  That’s okay!

Maybe you constantly find yourself longing for “the way things used to be.”  I get it – that is likely a time in your life you remember with great joy and wish to return to for the peace and comfort  it brought you.  But, life moves very quickly and we are all here to learn many lessons.

We can never grow to our fullest potential if we are constantly looking back, especially if we continuously look to the present with the attitude that we lack what we once had.

Maybe you feel stuck, like there is absolutely nothing you can do to get out of this.  “I have to stay [fill in your situation] so I can pay the bills.”  “I have to [fill in your situation] so I can make everyone else happy.”  “I have to __ so I can ___.”  We have a tendency to make sure everyone else is taken care of before we take care of ourselves.  We start setting limitations on what we can do before we are even out of the gate.  What if it doesn’t have to be that way?

So what can you do to better your own life.  Here are a few suggestions that have worked for me and those around me:

1.  ALWAYS start from gratitude!  Very appropriate being that this week is Thanksgiving, but it is so very true year round.  There is a blessing in EVERY situation if we are willing to acknowledge it.  I often suggest to my clients that they keep a gratitude journal and that they try and write in it every day.  I do this before I start my day, and it really helps to set a positive and appreciative tone for the day.

2.  Check yourself when you are coming from fear.  When you’re making a decision and you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach, check yourself.  Is this your intuition kicking in, or is this different?  As you start checking yourself, you will become more and more in tune with this part of you.  If you find that you are coming from a place of fear – BREATHE. As you exhale, have the intention of letting it go.  Once you have chosen to let that fear go (yes, it is a choice), replace it with something else – a prayer for protection, an affirmation that all will be well, or an intention to start this action from a place of acceptance and peace.

3.  Illusions that we are stuck can be the hardest to let go of.  It has been ingrained in us that we have to do things a certain way in order to be successful regardless if it makes us happy. This really takes a leap of faith, but I suggest you do this in stages.  Start by deciding that you WANT to be happy (yes, this is another choice).  You’ll be amazed what starts happening when you make this decision.  We can choose not to be a victim of our circumstances.  I don’t mean this in a cold-hearted “I don’t care” kind of way.  I mean this in the way that YOU can decide that you deserve better.  YOU can decide to make a change.  YOU can decide to take action toward what will make you happy.

4.  Surround yourself with supportive individuals!  I can’t stress this one enough.  How helpful is it to hear the person in the cubicle next to you talk about how horrible everything is, or maybe even a family member that is lost in their own unhappiness that doesn’t know how to pull themselves out.  These attitudes can carry into the ideas and things you want to do.  So, you then slowly start closing up and letting go of the things that are important to you.  ENOUGH! Maybe you can’t always be around those that sing your praises, encourage you when you’re down, and give it to you straight in a constructive way when you need it.  But, we can make a conscious effort to surround ourselves with these kinds of people as much as possible.  Recognize your worth, and know that there are people out there that care, are willing to help, and who really do want to see you succeed!

I am not here to tell you how to live your life.  I’m here to get you thinking and help you find what works for you because it is different for everyone.  Take what resonates with you and throw the rest out.  Above all, I wish you an abundance of love and light during this Thanksgiving week, and my wish for you is that you are surrounded by your family and all those that mean the most to you.